Judith Light Has A Relatable Take On Why Her Long-Distance Marriage Works

For Judith Light, absence really can make the heart grow fonder.
In an interview with People published Monday, Light shared new insight into her 39-year marriage to Robert Desiderio, an author and former actor. An Emmy and Tony winner, Light remains a fixture in the theater community and thus resides in New York, while Desiderio, best known for his portrayal of Ted Melcher on “Knots Landing,” calls Los Angeles home.
Though living on opposite coasts would present challenges for many couples, Light says she and Desiderio have found their stretches of alone time to be surprisingly valuable to their relationship.
“We talk every day. We FaceTime every day,” she told People. “He loves to be alone, and I love to be alone. We both love our alone time. We have that. It’s also very creative for us.”
In times of personal crisis, however, the pair “make sure that we stay in the room, and we keep talking,” Light said.
“Sometimes we have to take a break,” she noted. “We say, ‘Wait, we have to stop now. Now, we have to stop, and then we’re going to come back to this.’”
Desiderio and Light met as co-stars on the soap opera “One Life to Live” in the early 1980s and were married in 1985, about a year after Light landed her breakthrough role on the iconic ABC sitcom “Who’s the Boss?”
Over the years, Light has continued to leave her mark on Hollywood, appearing on “Transparent,” “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story,” and ― mostly recently ― “Poker Face,” for which she won an Emmy Award.
Still, she’s made no secret of her preference for New York over Los Angeles.
“I’m living in the city of my dreams, the city that I love. I’m the girl from New Jersey, I got to be in New York,” she told People in 2017. “I don’t drive. I don’t want to see sunshine every day. I want the rain. I want the snow. I want to put on my galoshes.”
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Light reiterated that stance in an interview with The New Yorker just two years later, recalling the excitement she felt while working on ABC’s “Ugly Betty,” which moved its production from Los Angeles to New York after two seasons.
“I was living in Los Angeles and kept longing to be back in New York because I love the energy. I love the life that I have here,” she recalled. “When ‘Ugly Betty’ came up and they said, ‘We’re moving you to New York,’ I was, like, ‘I’m going.’ Robert said to me, ‘Oh, my God, what are you going to do?’ And I said, ‘Well, I think the question is, what are you going to do? Because I’m going to New York.’”
She went on to note: “This is the kind of marriage that we have. We adore each other. We want to stay together. We have this very vital, exciting life together.”